Is Our Idea of Networking Lowkey Cringeworthy?

by Evans Ijakaa

“Attend that event by the way, it’s got a lot of big people and it’s a huge opportunity to network!” We’ve all heard this line and honestly, most of us have fallen for it more times than we can imagine. The idea sounds promising and very exciting. But one day, I paused and asked myself: How many people at such events are there with the same intention? How many ‘send me your CV’ requests are made, and how many business cards are handed out and perhaps forgotten within hours?

As a student, every time there was a big event on campus, I would see people gravitating toward the tables where the ‘big people’ sat, hoping to spark a connection or secure a future opportunity. It made me reflect: What does networking really mean?
Is it about interacting with people who rank higher than you in society, or is it about finding those who share your passions and values? Is it about securing an immediate benefit like a job or a favour or is it about forming meaningful, long-term partnerships?

Real networking is about building relationships. It’s about showing up with value, being genuinely interested in others, and nurturing those bonds even when you don’t need anything. Evans Ijakaa

These days, the word networking or “creating connections,” as many call it, is thrown around so much that it’s practically become a marketing tool. A catchy call to action on every event poster. “Come interact with big people, learn more, and get opportunities!” because they know how badly we want it. But here’s the catch: one major misconception we often hold as a generation is that networking is all about asking for something. Jobs, gigs, internships, you name it. We’ve reduced it to a transactional exchange. Talk to someone because you want something from them. Brethren, are we really making connections, or just collecting contacts?

After observing how those “big people” connect, one thing stood out: they build relationships from a place of mutuality, without necessarily expecting something from each other. It’s organic, not desperate. From a personal branding POV, how about we start thinking of ourselves as a brand, and networking as forming partnerships for that brand? Turns out Real networking is about building relationships. It’s about showing up with value, being genuinely interested in others, and nurturing those bonds even when you don’t need anything. Because honestly, the best opportunities rarely come from people who just know your name. They come from people who trust you.

I once witnessed something that really made me cringe. “Hello sir, can I come sit with you? Can I bring you some food? You don’t need to serve while I’m here.” This was someone my age, trying to impress the manager of a top insurance firm in Kenya. The manager responded, “Oh, I’m actually about to leave in 30 minutes… but let’s catch up before I go.” He stayed for over three hours. Probably forgot the conversation even happened.

There’s a philosophy that, from a personal branding point of view, holds a lot of weight. “If I did something extraordinary, and those ‘big people’ discovered me through the impact I created, I’d stick in their minds longer. Maybe even forever.”

Think about it, people remember what excites or inspires them. Sure, introducing yourself and sharing your ambitions is great. But wouldn’t leaving a lasting impression through your work be far more effective?

I could be wrong, but I think at our age, when we attend events, we should stop viewing networking as just sitting at the “big” table. We should see it as a chance to build partnerships with people who share our passions, or even those with different skills but complementary visions. That’s how genuine connections form; through collaboration, not chasing.

The truth is, those “big people” meet countless others every day. The chances they’ll remember our five-minute chat is quite slim. But if we focus on building ourselves, brick by brick, and creating something undeniably great, they’ll notice. You won’t need to chase. You’ll attract.

Networking doesn’t have to be transactional. It can be transformational. So let’s brand ourselves. Let’s stand out, and let’s change how we view networking: not as chasing power, but as creating genuine, lasting impact.